Fun: The bad traits of the 12 Chinese animals

十二生肖

By Chen Jun Yang – Features Editor 

2015 marks the Sheep’s/Ram’s year, but are you aware of the traits a sheep/Ram possesses? Most will probably know they are quiet and reserved, calm, gentle, creative, persevering, strong-willed and enjoy the company of others. But what about the bad points?

Just for a bit of festive fun and jokes, we’ve complied a horoscope for each of the 12 Chinese Zodiac animals based on the traits you should watch out for or avoid in them. And do you fit the descriptions of your sign?

If you don’t know what animal sign you are click here to find out

Note: The descriptions below are purely for fun and exaggerated based on the “standard negative traits” of each sign and are intended for entertainment purposes only and not to offend or generalise.

Sheep/Ram 

Sheep and Goats are seen as rather boring, lazy animals and people born in the Year of the Ram are often viewed in the same way… Usually because they are. They, like Rabbits, are sensitive little bitches and are afraid of conflict and they tend to need or crave (i.e. “beg”) for approval, attention, respect or sympathy from others. Come on, it’s not attractive!

Rat 

Just as rats are usually depicted in a negative light, those born in the Year of the Rat are greedy, scheming, cunning and vindictive. They’re selfish – always putting their own interests first, arrogant and a bit of a tight arse when it comes to their money and belongings. Rats may be the smallest of the 12 animals but they’re one of the most ruthless too.

Ox

The Ox is not only strong-headed but big-headed too, believing they are always right and not willing to submit or admit defeat. They are also rather hot-headed and will not allow others to piss them off without getting away with it. This makes them a hard nut to crack and please and you sometimes come across as a bit of Billy-no-mates.

Tiger

Tigers are fearless but also fearsome; anger a Tiger and you will probably live to regret it. They can be obsessive, possessive and above all, dominant… In more ways than one. Tigers are confident and sometimes over-confident, a.k.a. cocky, so if you compliment them expect them to love it.

Rabbit

Rabbits can be such pussies at times: they are very conservative, prefer to avoid aggression and conflict, don’t like to take risks and can be pushovers. They are also rather pessimistic, a trait that can piss off a lot of others who don’t like their slow coach approach to life.

Dragon

The Dragon is a hot-tempered beast: they can be arrogant and rude or even volatile when challenged. They like to rebel in order to prove their independence and they’re intolerant, unapologetic bastards to those they deem inferior or annoying. Dragons are also known to be big time narcissists.

Snake

Snakes are sly little bastards that will try their upmost best to get away with anything; whether or not they believe they what they’re doing is right or wrong. They can also be a bit whiny if things don’t go their way or if someone doesn’t agree with them. The Snake is also known to be stingy, lazy, jealous and possessive. However, Snakes are said to have a seductive appeal and are oversexed.

Horse

The Horse is a strange animal: a stubborn idiot who prefers to be a loner and wants to make it on his or her own, but can also be rather needy and clingy when it comes to trying to find love. Horses can also be impatient and oblivious to other people’s needs and more cunning than intelligent, knowing what they want and how to get it, which leads to a lack of confidence. They also have a lot of sex appeal and know how to dress – so, in other words, hardly.

Monkey

Like their animal counterparts, Monkeys are cheeky. They can be manipulative, egotistical and vain (they love to take a good selfie or ten), are highly intelligent but very snobbish about it and are pretty selfish too. Their never-ending energy and curiosity means others sometimes find them to be nosy or annoying, which is never a good sign.

Rooster

The Rooster can be a bit of a cock to be honest. Their number one interest is themselves, whether it’s their own welfare or their appearance – they know when they’re looking fly and love it when others tell them so. They love to be in firm control of everyone around them and everything, which often leads to head-on disagreements with those similar to them. Roosters are also an open book – they don’t like to lie and tell it how it is, so they can be a bit of a sharp-tongued bitch if you’re not careful.

Dog

Now we all know Dogs are loyal, but this more often than not comes off as just being too needy, clingy and possessive a lot of the time – a trait many others do not find the least bit attractive. They are known to be narrow-minded and stubborn and their temperamental mood swings mean others never know if they’re on their PMT or not. Dogs are trusting but it takes time for them to trust you and if that doesn’t happen, they can be really judgmental.

Pig

Known to be naive, Pigs are easily fooled and can be trotted all over and are often pedantic, leading many to find them to be snobbish pricks that look down on others. However, they can also be flaky and indecisive, which others who prefer people to be sure of themselves, cannot stand. The Pig is actually rather clever but can come off as being a right dimwit and if you’re a Pig you don’t want that first impression to stick, do you?

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